Some Feelings. (Which are not dumb.)

I hadn’t realized that my need for affirmation, the need to be respected and loved, was so strong. It’s always felt like the wishy-washy teenager-in-a-bad-movie motive. I can understand why I feel that way. There’s a lot in my culture about being independent, about not caring about what other people think about you, and about, I guess, how there is this basic arrogance that all stable people have which allows them to not need love or approval. And how that’s good. Continue reading

Worlds of Words

One of the premises of solipsism1, in many of the forms it takes, is that the only thing we can know for certain is our own minds. I don’t actually agree with this premise (I think). But one of the things that follows from the premise is that other people cannot be known, since we don’t live in their heads and the only thing we can know is our own heads. I’m not sure I agree with that, either. But it sure feels true sometimes. Continue reading

Intimacy and Games

When I GM I give my players a piece of my self. Usually an important piece, an egg I’ve been nurturing for some time. Sure, I’m used to sharing. But it still matters to me.

So when I GM, I need to know my players are playing along. If they aren’t into it, there’s no point. No one is going to have any fun. And I’m certainly not going to brace myself on my knees and smoke for them if they aren’t willing to talk in character to me. Continue reading